So while I've been busy blogging my little fingers out, blogging has been upstaged by this new kid on the block. Something called "Facebook."
"Be my friend!" I kept hearing.
"You dork, I'm already your friend," I'd respond.
And then I'd get "the look," the one that told me who the dork really was. Because obviously, they were referring to the Facebook-type-of-friend and could I possibly be any more of a Luddite?
Uh, yeah. Have I mentioned my turntable lately?
But I finally caved in and opened a Facebook account to see what the fuss was all about, and suddenly started getting all these "friend" requests. Okay, sure. I'll be your friend. And yours. And yours. Oh, but good gawd, not yours.I believe that restraining order is still in effect, dude. Go away.
Okay. So now I've got friends.
And in the process I've learned that while Facebook is great for reconnecting with old friends, it's also a euphanism for exponential minutia. Because now that I'm on Facebook, I'm privy to fascinating, fun-filled facts about how other people spend their days, such as:
9:45 am: "Going for a cup of coffee."
10:08 am: "Ordered a soy latte, extra hot. Burned my tongue."
10:29 am: "Return home. Watching The View. Wassup with Whoopi's eyebrows?"
And so on. Ah, but now even Facebook is passe. This doesn't surprise me because I do seem to have that Midas touch. If only I'd stayed away from Facebook, it would still be the hottest thing since my friend's soy latte. Facebook comments are too long, trend-seekers say. Too lengthy. Too verbose.
Now, it's all about Twitter.
Twitter this. Twitter that. Tweet me, bro. Limited to something like 143 characters, "tweets" are brief little postings meant to capture the immediacy of life. And, perhaps, the mundane?
5:05 pm: "Blink."
5:06 pm: "Blink."
5:08 pm: "Blink, blink" (dust in eye)
5:09 pm: "Kink (owowow cramp in leg!)"
5:10 pm: "Wink" (hey there, cutie!)
5:12 pm: Blink
Gripping commentary, indeed. Tweets make a Facebook posting sound like an excerpt from Les Miserables.
So don't bother looking for my Twitter account anytime soon. I'm not even sure I'll maintain my Facebook site because if my life bores me, I can only imagine what it might do to you. Can we say narcolepsy?
At least blogging allows me to construct complete sentences, convey an occasional opinion and get things off my chest. Like ranting about sites that capture the microscopic details of life. Or maybe announcing to everyone that I'm about to pull a Whoopi and go pluck my eyebrows.